Posted in Life and Encouragement, Political Mishaguyas

Heal the hurt….don’t hurt the healing.

“Heal the hurt….don’t hurt the healing.” -K.T. Klay

Sorry, All, but I’m tired of the hate. I don’t want to read any more negative posts. I’ve had enough of Hillary and Donald and Bernie and Elections and Government. I’m not going to “unfriend” anyone because I’m a grown-up and I realize that we are all entitled to our own views and opinions.

I get regular Facebook status updates from many of my friends. Some of them I’ll look at but others I pick and choose. There are some people who I don’t get updates for/from because I got tired of hate-filled posts.  I want to get along with everyone, and I cannot tell you what to post or share, however…for some of you, almost all your posts and emails are filled with hate and fear and links to articles or memes that attack our former presidential candidates.

I grieve for what this country has gone through, is going through, and will go through….but grief must end….fear must end….hate must end.

I choose to love.

I choose to be inclusive.

I choose to focus on everything that is good.

I choose to focus on everything that is uplifting and positive.

I choose to focus on happy things.

I choose to focus on our similarities and strengths and being at peace with everyone.

I choose to be the change I want to see.

I am (as anyone who knows me knows) a man who works really hard to be a man of integrity and a man who keeps my word. Those of you who want to continue being negative and full of fear and hate, you may continue, but I will turn off your status updates. I do it for my own sanity and healing and to begin to bring the healing and change I want to see, and focus on the good. I encourage you all to do the same.

“Heal the hurt! Don’t hurt the healing.” Please tell me and others good things, show us people (not political officials) who are doing good things and bringing unity and healing.

My second wife told me that I sat bolt-upright in bed one night (yes, I was asleep) looked her in the eye and said in an exasperated and imploring tone, “CAN’T we be FRIENDS?!?!” Then I flopped over still asleep. BTW: She told me her reply had been “NO! We’re married.”

My friends, we are friends…let’s keep it that way.

I love you all.

…and that’s no mishaguyas.

Posted in The Arts-Poetry

If I Could Do Anything – A poem, A Song, A Lament

If I Could Do Anything

by K.T Klay

 

If I could do anything, Be anything, anything in this world

What would I be

What would I do?

 

Would I be a sports hero, a philanthropist, a zillionaire

Would I be a model, a star, someone who soars through the air

Would I be a pimp, a pusher, a gangsta, a shmo

Would I be someone everyone wants to know

Would I be a rocker, a rapper, leader of the band

Would I be the most known person in all the land

Would I be a politician, a leader, king of all I see

Would every person in the world come to pay homage to me?

 

Of all the things that people crave

There is only one thing my heart desires

There is only one thing of which I dream

There is only one purpose, one legacy, one goal that fills my heart.

 

I would make people laugh and smile and forget

Because I have cried enough tears

And suffered enough pain

For all who have, Or ever shall

Live

 

22 July 2016.

Posted in Misc Notes

The Bitter Saddness of Success

I don’t mind being single. I don’t mind being alone.  It’s safe and comfortable…most of the time.   That being said….I have so many wonderful things going on right now.  There are so many successes, triumphs and accomplishments.  It is in these moments that I feel the most alone.  For me, It’s not so bad to be alone with  pain, illness, struggles, and heartaches.  Though I do what I do for myself and (that will never change) and not for honor, glory, or accolades…it dampens the joy, the triumph, the significance of the victory when  you are surrounded by people who are surrounded by people celebrating others individual accomplishments….and you are standing there….alone.

Maybe alone is just not having someone there who you know. That hurts, yes.  What really hurts is finally seeing someone you do know and having them never say anything to you.  Worse is to have them walk by, throw a halfhearted “nice job” at you without even really looking are you…and then pounce on someone near you with hoots and hollers and dancing and rejoicing.

I must remember that I do the things I do for myself. I must remember to not subject myself nor allow myself to be in places where my aloneness can be rubbed in my face.  I must remember to allow nothing to diminish my successes or my joy.

It’s true when they that some of the happiest people are the most shattered and broken on the inside.  Some of the best comedians have had the most harrowing of experiences in life.  Helping people, making them smile and laugh brings me a little more completeness.  That will never change.  I am elated when I see people succeed and grow and fly.  I will celebrate life.  I will celebrate success.  I will celebrate joy and triumphs.  I will lift those who are around me.  I will do it alone.

Posted in Life and Encouragement, Misc Notes

A Joust with Jealousy

I have experienced envy much more than jealousy. Envy is something that I think everyone experiences from time to time, and it certainly can turn into jealousy if allowed.  Typically, I have used envy to push me to do what it takes, personally, to achieve that which I may envy.  I am also mature enough to know when something that I envy is simply out of my reach, unattainable, and I push on. Jealousy, however, has never really been an issue that I have struggled with, but the few times I have were times of deep personal reflection and growth.

Usually, jealousy causes animosity, division, unrealistic competition and negative feelings like anger, hatred, or distrust.  Jealousy has destroyed many a relationship, and friendships.  One person is jealous of the person they have romantic feelings for.  The jealous person forbids or blocks their “lover” from speaking with or spending time with anyone else but them.  Friends become jealous of another’s popularity, money, prestige, skills, connections, possessions or something else.

How can jealousy be used for personal growth? When you become aware of some of the feelings that I previously listed, or find yourself doing some of the things I listed, it’s time to take a step back and ask yourself, “Why am I doing this?”  There may be a need to do some deep, personal, soul searching.  Figure out why you are doing what you are doing or why you are feeling what you are feeling.  Once you figure these questions out, you will be better equipped to grow and to adjust how you’re doing things so you can overcome the jealousy.  The answers may not be what you want to see, but if you are realistic, they can really help you grow.  When you have assessed why you feel the way you do, and figured out how much or how little control you have over the situation, it is time to adjust what you’re doing and feeling to match what you have discovered.  Then you need to take the actions necessary to achieve what you want (if it is actually attainable) or let it go.

I have been asked how I came up with the formulas that I use.  Did I make it all up? Was it “divine” impartation of the universe? The answer is really very simple…I have no idea. As far back as I can remember, I have used the formula that I have just told you about.  My father died when I was quite young.  I have a vague impression that my family may have had a few sessions with a therapist, but I don’t really know.  I was six years old when he died, so, it is possible that I derived the methods and formula from those sessions…that may or may not have been. Nevertheless, in the following paragraphs, I’ll tell you how I used this method and formula to deal with situations of jealousy and envy in my life.

When I was a child, I had a friend whose name was Johnny.  I was jealous of him for many reasons.  I hate to say it, but many of those reasons were the basis of my “friendship” with him.  Johnny was funny and popular. He had two parents who loved each other and got along, he lived in a great house where he had his own bedroom, he had the latest technology, and most of all he had every Star Wars toy that was on the market!  In fact, the first time I saw Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, it was at his home on his VCR. I was an extremely un-funny wall-flower. My parents never really got along, my dad was now dead, my mother was a nut-case, I had to share a very small bedroom with two brothers, and we were very poor even though my dad had almost become a millionaire before he was killed.  I think you can understand my jealousy and envy.  One day, I realized that I would never have all the toys that he did.  I also realized that I had no control over my mother or her relationships or her mental status.  I realized that I had no control over where I lived.  This made me sad, but it helped.  I decided that I could learn to be funny and popular.  I also realized that I would not have to live at home forever, just until I was 18 and then I could move out; this gave me hope and purpose.

By the time I had reached high school, I was learning to become funnier, and became a popular guy.  I was so well known and popular, that I decided to run for President of the Associated Student Government.  I figured that no one could beat me but I had an unexpected bump coming.  I hadn’t planned on Rob Mole, captain of the football team running.  When he did, I (in my own hubris and self-importance) figured that there was no way he could beat me.  I hadn’t planned on him sweeping in and getting all my “popular” friends to join his campaign before he even announced his candidacy.  Needless to say, he took the vote by a landslide.  I was angry and, yes, extremely jealous.  I realized that he had won fair and square.  I took notes on what to do and what not to do, and did my best to work with Rob and not against him.  It wasn’t long before I realized that he was relying on me, and that he was learning from me.  That was humbling for me.

Jealousy reared its ugly head, again, recently.  Again, it was jealousy with fellow classmates, and not one classmate, but two of them!  The first classmate is a real go-getter.  He’s a guy who has things come quite easily to him.  If things don’t come easily, he pushes and pushes until he gets it. The two of us, it seemed, were vying for the top spot in some of the classes we are in.  For a while, I didn’t like this.  I said to myself, “I can’t let him be better than me!  I’ve got to beat him!  I want to see him fail.” I realized that I was jealous of him.  When I came to that realization, I realized that I saw him as a threat!  Then I realized that he is my classmate and that he can be an ally in class and the future.  There is no reason why only one person can be at the top of the class; there is no reason why every person in the class can’t have straight “A’s.”  This was very freeing for me, and I see him as a friend, again, and not a competitor.  Another classmate keeps getting roles in plays that I want, and he had a role in a recent play where he had the attention of all the ladies.  He can dance and is suave and popular.  We are alike in many ways, but there are a few things that he can do that I want to and can’t currently do.  Those ways we are different and the fact he’s gotten the roles I wanted (particularly the one where he was the focus of the ladies) made me jealous.  I realized that I was jealous; I knew why.  I had a hard time overcoming my jealousy of him.  It suddenly occurred to me that it is our differences that allow us to succeed.  He will go on to play the suave, swashbuckling leading man.  He’ll be another Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, or Ryan Reynolds.  I will never be those.  On the other hand, I will go on to become another Robin Williams, Tom Hanks, or Bill Murray, and he will won’t.  Robin Williams will never be Brad Pitt, and vice versa.  Both have their unique roles just as my friends and I have ours.  None of the roles are better than the other.  Each are unique and yet each are equal.  These realizations brought my jealousy to an end.

Our emotions guide us and can ultimately lead us down a path of destruction or to a place of growth and unity with everything around us.  Negative emotions such as anger, hatred, jealousy and envy can destroy if left unchecked.  We can be aware of our feelings, and why we are feeling what we are feeling and we can use them to grow. It is only through evaluation, introspection, and analysis of ourselves, our emotions, our motives, our fears and desires that we can use our emotions to bring unity and wholeness to ourselves and our surroundings.

Posted in Crazy Mishaguyas, Political Mishaguyas

Why I think Bernie Madoff would make a better President than Donald Trump

I feel that Bernie Madoff would make a better President of the United States than Donald Trump. Both of these gentlemen (I use that term loosely) have made a living off the backs of the “working-class” people, flinging themselves boldly into business endeavors, keeping themselves in the public eye, and showing blatant disregard for everyone but themselves, Bernie Madoff rises to the top for a variety of reasons. Now I know what you are thinking, “Trump is running against Bernie Sanders, not Bernie Madoff, fool!”  You, of course, are correct in that.  I am not comparing Sanders and Trump; I am comparing Trump and Madoff.  Bernie Sanders is a much better choice for President than Trump or Madoff, in my view, but that is not the point of my paper. Both Trump and Madoff have similar backgrounds and origins.  Both were born in Queens, New York [1][2]. Both started companies, The Trump Organization (1971) and Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC (1960) with little or no money down. Both made fortunes off the backs of “working-class” people. When I say “working-class,” I include everyone making less than $200,000 per year, and all retirees.  What makes them different?

The first thing that makes these two different is how they started their companies, and continued to “earn” their money. Bernie Madoff started Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC in 1960 with $5000 that he earned from working as a lifeguard and a sprinkler installer [4]. He put his company on the stock market as a penny stock and borrowed $50,000 from his father-in-law.  Trump was handed control of his father’s company, and used tax breaks and loop-holes to build his empire.  Trump also borrowed money and invested it. Unlike Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC, The Trump Organization, almost went under during bankruptcy proceedings in 1991[5].

The Second thing that is different is how they work with others and own up to their mistakes. Trump blames others for problems.  Trump is the victim.  Trump has assets tied up so they can’t be taken. Madoff accepted responsibility for his mistakes, and admitted them.  He allowed his possessions and assets to be sold so people could be repaid.

The third thing that makes them different is how they live (or lived lived) their lives every day. Trump, who is worth between $3 billion and $10 billion[6][7][8], lives in opulent luxury.  Madoff, worth an estimated $17 billion[9] at the time of arrest) lived in an upscale and expensive area of town[10], but at the lower end and understated area with minimal possessions.  Madoff tried to stay out of the public view while Trump stays in the public eye.  Trump has had his own reality show, in addition to his current bid for President.

In closing, I feel that Bernie Madoff, despite his being jail would make a better president than Donald Trump, because he made more money in his public life than Trump has. Madoff made his initial money by working for it, while Trump has been handed it and or stolen and used loop-holes in the law to gain wealth. Bernie Madoff lived lived a low-key lifestyle against Trumps opulent “in-your-face” one. Finally, when “caught” in wrong doing, Madoff admitted his faults, while Trump has passed the blame to others.  For these reasons, I feel Madoff would be a better president than Trump.

Works Cited:

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donald_Trump

[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernard_Madoff

[3] Trump, Donald; Bill Zanker (2007). Think Big and Kick Ass in Business and in Life. HarperCollins. pp. 79, 123, 211. ISBN 9780061547836. Retrieved July 15, 2012.

[4] Foley, Stephen. “The Madoff Files: Bernie’s Billions.” Independent. N.p., 28 Jan. 2009. Web. Retrieved 1 Mar. 2016.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/business/analysis-and-features/the-madoff-files-bernies-billions-1518939.html

[5] http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,972889,00.html

[6] Costa, Robert, and Maria Gold. “Donald Trump Will Declare $9 Billion in Assets as He Reveals 2016 Plans.” https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/exclusive-trump-will-declare-9-billion-net-worth-as-he-reveals-2016-plans/2015/06/15/a00e74c0-137c-11e5-9ddc-e3353542100c_story.html. The Washington Post, 15 June 2015. Web. Retrieved 1 Mar. 2016. 1 Mar. 2016.

[7] “Donald Trump”. Forbes. September 30, 2014 Retrieved 1 Mar. 2016.

[8] Melby, Caleb; Rubin, Richard (July 28, 2015). “Here’s Our Tally of Donald Trump’s Wealth”. Bloomberg. Retrieved 1 Mar. 2016.

[9] “Madoff Pleads Guilty, Is Jailed for $65 Billion Fraud.” http://www.reuters.com. N.p., 13 Mar. 2009. Web. Retrieved 1 Mar. 2016.

[10] Creswell, Julie (January 24, 2009). “The Talented Mr. Madoff”. The New York Times.

 

Posted in Life and Encouragement

You Are A Winner!

“You are a winner! Don’t believe me? You’re still here! Because of that you are a winner; don’t let anyone tell you otherwise…even yourself! You’re not dead! You’re not decomposing in the ground! You have life and strength and breath inside of you, and as long as you have those, there is opportunity! You have opportunity to make your life better and the lives of those around you better! Keep on winning!”

-K.T. Klay, April 2016

If someone needs this as an inspirational quote, feel free to print it out and post it everywhere you can see and read it. Put it your mirrior and read it you yourself…out loud…every time you look at yourself in the mirror. Dont, don’t, DON’T EVER call yourself “stupid” or speak negatively to yourself, and never let anyone put you down! Science has proven that we believe what WE say more than we believe what others say. Say this to yourelf, and eventially, you’ll start to believe it.

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Posted in Life and Encouragement, Misc Notes

Sooooo….This is my blogsite for….everything.

What’s in a name?

I once played the role of Richard Noakes in Tom Stoppard’s play, ARCADIA.  Having my director give me “notes” on my performance got me thinking that “Noakes’ Notes” would make a great title for an online blog or column.

“Mishaguyas” is a word than means “craziness” or “nonsensical” and life is certainly full of its crazy, nonsensical moments and people.

Since I have a lot if ideas, experiences…and questions….I decided I needed a place to post my writings….my thoughts….my poetry…my songs…my struggles….my pains…my joys and my delights…all the things that make me, “me” and run through my head.

That is why this is here, and where the name comes from.